KY (and I dont mean the lubricant) Training Trip

Prologue      Little did we know when we embarked on this adventure just what we would encounter....one thing we knew for sure...we wanted to get out of dodge, we wanted to ride our bicycles without snowmobile suits on, and we wanted to have fun.  All of that and more was accomplished.  This entry is set up in significant chapters...albiet they may be short but maybe someday the fodder for a long drawn out book.  The funny thing is this will be from my perspective so I'm hoping all those team mates that joined in the "training" will add their two cents...so all u "not it" slugs hop to it....cause at the end of the day I may crack myself up...but u all crack me up way more :)

Chapter 1 - Food   (Also known as sex trash art)
    Thanks to Cheryl's preplanning we did not starve to death....as a matter of fact there was so much food we obviously didnt know what the hell to do with it when we left because there was some very riskea (sp) pictures on the flicker sight.  I hear (literally) that there is a sound video that goes with the art but it was too much to put on FB.
      We had the full range of healthy eaters (Amy, Connie, Ellie) to those who mostly drank beer (Lori and Kelsey).  Everyone else kinda drank a little, ate a little, snacked a little.  These guys were hanging out by the trash for the leftovers when we "pulled out" (Tammy giggle giggle (look at the trash picture cause those two words have alot of meaning).


Chapter 2 - Driving in the Bike Van
     Pretty uneventful....until all hell broke loose.  Let's see.  Kelsey slept (she said she just came off of 7 days on, working 3rd shift but after finding out alot more information about her I think its not that).  Ellie kept us entertained at one stop cause she couldnt find the pop machine...she was actually getting pissed...we found it for her - it was soooo friggin big we all laughed hysterically!!  Really it was the largest (Tammy giggle) pop machine we had ever encountered.
     We were really making ground on the Korienek Mom van - Ellie was driving....we were rolling, listening to music, when the bike van got possessed....like Linda Blair..  Very scary.  95 mph....throttle stuck open....Thank god Ellie was driving cause she just doesnt let anyone or anything mess with her and she got the thing uunder control-really we were all scared out of our minds....I wouldnt want to go through that again but if I had to I would pick exactly the same group...they may not pick me - or ever drive in my car again but I would pick them.  We were about 40 min from our destination.  First thought...get all the bikes out now!!!!  There was about $30,000 in bikes.  I went into quiet mode after calling 911.  After getting all the stuff onto the wet, gross, side of the highway several agencies pulled up...none of which was the welcome wagon mind you...but Ron was close.  My friend the cop is below.  We had state boys, county, and city I think....that part is a blur cause we spent considerable amount of time trying to figure out how we would get all the stuff back to the house.  Tammy kicked in to logistical coordinator - thank u...cause we were all pretty shook up.   Back to Ron... The Kentucky stranger Ron was willing to drive us anywhere we wanted.  We were a little skeptical but we took a chance...  Long story short Ellie turned on the charm...sitting in the front seat with Ron...cause we all piled in the back leaving her shotgun...we kinda wished one of us was packin' when he said he would show us the scenic route.  Along with her charm kicking in was her KY drawl...she actually speaks the language.  I was understanding about every 4th word Ron was saying.  We had to stop at a party store and Ron told us not to get out...funny and scary...we did as told cause everyone had bad teeth and mullets.......Im not making any of this up...you know Kentucky....Deliverance....holy crap we are riding with a stranger and we have no idea where we are going....u get the picture.



    Ron gets us to the house, we unload and take a deep breath....make a stiff (Tammy giggle) drink and get on with.  Oh yea...the  bike van gets towed by another guy with a mullett. 
Chapter 5 - The Downtime  -  "What Happens in KY stays in KY" 

     Is it "buck naked" or "butt naked?"  Oh I digress...it doesnt matter cause there was a ban on naked hot tubbing...but we did alot of hot tubbing.    our skin looked like this cause we were in there so long! 
     I hate games but catch phrase was fun.  Its a blur though and I cant recall anything significant to say about it...oh wait...Lori was especially good at it...her whole body would be used to describe the word....the only other thing that stuck out was we managed to tie it back to some sexual thing....amazing how that happens...thought only a bunch of guys do that but obviously u bring women together and it happens too!
    My favorite morning game was looking at the "In Style" magazine and playing "Hot or Not" with Lori and Tammy....And of course the solidarity pinky press on nail...good times. 

Chapter 6 - Riding our Bicycles
     Route planning is always a conumdrum.  We settled or riding in Mammoth Caves Natl Park.  Great first day ride!  We did 40 miles of pace lining, echeloning, etc.  We all felt great and this was a great team effort.  Side bar....dogs dogs dogs dogs.  Why do people let there dogs run in their yards?  It should not be allowed.  Every house had at least one dog that didnt like me.  Since I am not a dog person they liked me even more.  When they would run after us....I would kick into high gear (its the only time I can sprint) and the dog would fall back laughing its ass off!  Since the trip I have been thinking about how to mount a taser gun on my bike....the girls bought doggie treats to throw at the charging dogs...that should give u an idea how big (Tammy giggle) a problem it was.   They were bigger than this one...   I think they would send this one out to scout us and see when we would be coming - yea he was their leader.  Moving on....

Chapter 6 - Mountain Bike Ride Day
     I was soo happy to have my mountain bike...It was gale force winds and although I missed the echelon practice I think Tammy and I had a better time mountain biking than riding hills and roads that day.  Very rocky single track...basically I got my ass handed to me....its cause Tammy has a better bike...a 29er...oh wait I do too...crap...so much for that....but NO DOGS!!!  Great 2.5 hour mtb!  Women, you will have to fill in what happened on your ride.
     We had mexican food that night...hmmm no gas.  Thank god cause when you are sleeping with someone you usually dont sleep with that can be awkward.  Side bar about bodily functions.  We all know eachother's poop habits...that's team building at its finest. 

Chapter 7 - Raining
    Rain was in the forcast for our third day of riding.  Aaarrrggg 80% chance....or according to the eternal opptomist Kelsey 20 percent chance of no rain.  While my bike van was packing up in the ugly weather...the other group was going on Kelsey's weather report and wouldnt you know it we were pulling out (Tammy giggle) and the other group was leaving for a ride...one that never got rained on.  Oh well.  Its ok cause all the dogs were waiting for us and I dont know that I could have taken the sprint intervals! 

Chapter 8 - The Drive Home
     Kentucky rain turned to Michigan snow but it was hot in the car!!!  The conversation went from bands of the 80's, 90's, and today to "other stuff" - lets leave it at that but I will say I still think about one topic regularly....like I see someone walking in the mall or along a trail or eating out and wonder....hmmmm. 

Epilogue - Team building
    Even though the beds sucked, the dogs sucked, and the weather the last day was sucky the company was the best!  I wish all the RWT could have participated in this trip...it was a blast.  I think we all realized that we were in a better place in our training than we thought and that made the trip worthwhile.  Just know Ive got your back RWT (my whole car should giggle about that one).  Thanks for the memories....